Grieving is hard, especially around the holidays. This past weekend, I experienced a lot of emotional grief outbursts after something random would trigger a memory about my dad. I found myself having to explain my tears and actions so I decided to write about it in hopes of helping others. Whether you are missing a loved one or supporting someone who is, this sympathy poem has a message for all of us.

To Those Who Aren’t Grieving

To those who aren’t grieving, I feel there are things you need to hear.

They will help you understand me when things may not be so clear.

Although my loved one has been gone awhile, there isn’t a day that goes by

That I don’t stop and think of them and wish I could simply just say “Hi”.

So many mixed emotions, random outbursts, and the cries;

These are the things that you go through after your loved one dies.

If I am quiet or withdrawn,  please know I may need to seclude.

I need to take care of myself.  I am not trying to be rude.

I may not be talking because memories sometimes appear.

I want to remember them fully in silence before they quickly disappear.

These memories may bring smiles, but often that isn’t the case.

Just be prepared for tears to start rolling down my face.

So many things can bring these outburst on; a sight or a sound.

It’s good for me to go through them, because great comfort can be found.

I know it’s hard to understand my feelings.  My manner can be deceiving.

Please know that it can be difficult to be around those who aren’t grieving.

There are things that I don’t say when I am silent and pensive.

I am afraid if I tell you, they may come off offensive.

From this message I am writing, there is nothing for me to gain.

My hope is when you lose a loved one, this might help ease the pain.

When you complain about the little things and the people you love the most,

I want to tell you not to sweat it, and please hug them tight and close.

When you care about material things or complain about your spouse,

I want to tell you it’s about the people, not the things in your house.

When conversations are about money, power, and greed;

I want to tell you it is okay, you have everything you need.

When you fight with those you love because you don’t see eye to eye,

I want to tell you to forgive and just give it another try.

We are all unique individuals; we are not one in the same.

We are different for a reason, even though we may share a name.

When I lost my loved one, my world was cracked open wide.

The things that I once valued have now been pushed aside.

They’ve been replaced by things that matter like gratitude, forgiveness, and love.

I find strength, hope, and healing by placing faith in God above.

For those who are not grieving, I hope you read this and find it’s worth.

You still have time to focus on what matters before your loved one leaves this earth.

Simply, Kerry