Other people and their energy can ruin your day in an instant if you aren’t careful.
The other night I forgot to turn off my phone alerts before going to bed. Instead of being woken by the beautiful light of my sunrise simulator and sounds of a glorious summer day…I was woken by a dreadful Facebook notification and this one was dreadful! I told myself to just ignore it and go back to sleep but unfortunately when something wakes me up, I am up. So I grab my phone and open my messages to find that a so-called Facebook “friend” invaded my inbox with some rants, accusations, and a boatload of negative energy. Oh was I pissed! Of all the nights I forget to mute my phone! This was not how I wanted to start my day!
As I read this message, I felt my body getting tense and hot. My jaw was clenching and my blood boiling. Here are some of the thoughts that went through my head: “How dare you send me this message?” “How dare you dump “your” crap on me?” “How dare you bring me into “your” drama and “your” issue?” “How dare you accuse me of things I never did or said?” Oh my mind just kept racing. A knee-jerk reaction took over and I hit reply. I was ready to respond with rage and fury. After typing the first word I stopped. And then you know what I did?
I WENT BACK TO BED!
In our house, we call this PROJECT RESET! I set my sun to rise on my dawn simulator for 10 minutes later. There was no way I was going to fall back to sleep but there was no way I was going to allow an immature message full of someone else’s negative energy rob me of a peaceful and delightful morning.
Think about how often this happens throughout your day. I don’t recall the last time I got a mean message in my inbox but I definitely have to fight off someone else’s negative energy every day. Whether it’s my husband’s energy from a stressful day, my kid’s whiney-ness, a gossipy friend at a social event, a rude clerk at the grocery store, an aggressive driver on the morning commute, or working through a client’s issues.
Setting emotional boundaries is crucial if you want to stay centered in your own emotions. So many of us, especially if you are a highly sensitive person like myself, take on other people’s emotions. When I went back to bed I put myself back into my happy bubble. I envisioned pulling my energy closer to me like a protective force field. I reminded myself that balanced people don’t go around sending accusatory, negative messages. I remembered my motto of “Let Love Win” and prayed that this person could resolve whatever issue and insecurity they were having. It had nothing to do with me. I affirmed to myself that “I am loved, I am enough, and I am strong.” A few minutes later, my artificial sun started to rise and the birds started chirping. I opened my eyes and woke up on my terms, on my RIGHT side of the bed, and set an intention to have a glorious day! And I did!
I agree. It takes a lot of energy to fight off the negative suckers in the world but I tend to feel sorry for those people. They will never feel the happiness we get to experience so they let jealousy take over and try to tear you down. Take that complement and try to send some extra positive energy out there and it might influence them indirectly but one remember to keep to one rule “don’t let them rent free space in your head”.
Matt, I love that quote! I am storing that one for use later. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate it!!! Sending you all my best!
WOW Kerry WOW. Thanks for this post today. I am tired of letting others affect my good mood. You nailed it, when you said, ” that balanced people don’t go around sending accusatory, negative messages” I’m glad you were able to recognize that you can’t argue with CRAZY. It was wise NOT to reply, and go tit for tat with someone that doesn’t have the maturity or courtesy to speak to you face to face. It’s so easy to allow others to have power over you. Proud of you for “resetting!” Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you so much for the feedback Sheila! I really appreciate it! Your support means the world! Just install the reset button in your house! 🙂
My fav blog yet. I work with someone who i let get into my head and bring me down all the time! Going to bring my reset button with me everywhere i go! 🙂
I totally agree with you. We are affected by other people’s moods, thoughts and energy. What a great reminder too. We have control over our thoughts and how we will react to what happens within our life. Glad you were able to reset your mind and restart your day!
Emotional boundaries are a biggie for women. Many of us have been raised to believe that we are responsible for the emotions of others. And as a result of this, we often live within “blurred lines” – which can really wreak havoc on our emotional stability.
This is a cornerstone of the work I do with my clients – strengthening emotional boundaries. It creates a solid foundation for anything we want to pursue in life.
Thanks for sharing your experience and for another thought-provoking post! ~ By the way, I love the quote you share at the top of this page, “Sometimes you have to bring your own sunshine.” ~ I say YES to that! 🙂
~ Tina
Great post Kerry!! I loved when you said ” that balanced people don’t go around sending accusatory, negative messages”, that is so true, but sometimes we forget that and people get into us. Great affirmation too! loved it!
Kerry – LOVE THIS and your motto “Let Love Win” and how you connect it to your perhaps inner sunshine! Such an inspiration you are as I so appreciate your authenticity 🙂
Thank you. I really needed this today. You wouldn’t believe how many results don’t come up when you type in google, “How not to let someone ruin your day.” Identifying the real problem and then sticking to my intention is exactly what I needed to do. So, thank you.
Jaime, thank you so much for your feedback and taking time to comment. I really appreciate it. I am glad you found this and it brought you want you needed! Keep setting those intentions! That is what helps me everyday! All the best! Kerry