Find Self-Confidence Through Style

I have been talking a lot about clutter lately…

I think it is because spring cleaning seems to be in full swing but also because clearing it away has made such a dramatic impact on my life. It truly has been life-changing and liberating. When we clear away the clutter in our closets and all that doesn’t represent who we are we can find something that has been hidden for a long time – our style. Everyone us has a style, whether we realize it or not. This topic is so important to address because our wardrobes are an extension of our personality.  If we aren’t wearing clothing that aligns with who we truly are we will experience conflict. We will not operate authentically in the world and it will affect our self-esteem and confidence.

Here are some signs that you may suffer from style confusion:

• You have a closet full of clothes yet often say “I have nothing to wear”.
• You ask people what they are wearing to an event or for their opinion about your outfit.
• You buy things because everyone else has it.
• You are easily influenced by store clerks when you try things on.
• Your wardrobe is full of randomness

I spent years trying to find myself through clothing. In college, I was constantly changing my look. One day I was preppy, then I was grungy, and then punk chick. I dyed my hair religiously and was the queen of impulse buying. I was the first to have the latest trends and quickly grew sick of my outfits. It wasn’t until my journey of self-discovery did I finally find my style. I spent years hiding behind black and grey clothing and wore things I thought I “should”. My husband was the same way. He bought name-brand items and wore clothes “dudes wear”. He was always asking me what he should wear and if it looked okay.

As I reconnected with my true self more and more, I began to let my light shine. My true spirit is very colorful, free-spirited, and vibrant. However, I only seemed to show that side of me when on vacation. I absolutely loved going on trips not only to travel but also so I could wear fun clothes! How crazy is that?! I had to leave the country to wear what I want?!

I hate feeling constricted. I can’t stand clothes that don’t allow me to move so when I wore a tight-fitting pencil skirt and button shirt for the first talk I ever did, you can imagine how pissed my inner child was. I felt caged up and not in character at all.

I looked fine on the outside but on the inside, I was completely uncomfortable and it effected my vibe all night. The funny thing is that I didn’t even own these clothes, I borrowed them from someone because I thought that is what I “should” wear when I give a talk.

Getting rid of all that doesn’t serve me or align with me was a major step in my transformation. When I did a major overhaul of my closet using Marie Kondo’s book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” I was able to learn a lot about my style personality. I evaluated materials, patterns, and styles that I liked and disliked.  I picked out the items that truly brought me joy and that I wanted to wear more of. These items, even though they weren’t what everyone else was wearing was what I felt the most confident in. I then made a style board with photos of things that I would like or that represented my personality. Our latest photoshoot shows more of our true personality:

Here is my style board. As you can tell, I have a very free-spirited, bohemian personality. On the left is Brad’s 🙂

My husband went through this process as well and it was so amazing to see his transformation. He never asks for my opinion anymore and he stands taller and is more confident.

Discovering your style takes time and self-discovery but when you find it and own it, it will change your life greatly. You will feel freer, fearless, and more at peace. You will find that you don’t “need” as much because you will buy things that you absolutely love and bring you joy. When you learn to love yourself, you will also love your clothes. You will honor them and see them as an extension of you. If you want to go through this process, here is a video showing you how we went through my husband’s closet to figure out his style:

If you want to make your own style board, here are some how-to videos for you: