Feeling stuck? Congratulations! That means it is time for a change. Feeling stuck sucks. We get depressed, anxious, feel like we aren’t getting anywhere, etc. However, you can use this stuckness to help fuel your transformation. Feeling stuck holds a higher purpose than what people give it credit for. It means that we have stopped listening to our true self. We have put our talents and desires on the back burner and have gotten caught up in the never-ending, mundane hamster wheel of the routine life of “shoulds”.
We operate out of negative self-talk like “I should do this…”, “I need to perform better…”, or “I have to do this…”. Every day is the same…we work and work and work and acquire more and more and more…and still feel uninspired and unfulfilled. Fear stands in the way of adventure and fun. We think time and money is needed to follow our dreams.
How I Get Unstuck
My mission is to help people connect with who they truly are and one of the ways I help people do that is by having them write with their non-dominant hand. I call this “Interview with Yourself”. When we are stuck, it is a sure sign we are out of alignment from our spirit…our soul…our inner child…whatever you want to call it….the REAL YOU! We didn’t come into this world stuck, we weren’t born depressed….we were complete, whole, and full of joy. As we start having experiences in the world and with the people around us…we have no choice but to trust those taking care of us. Our experiences, both good and bad, shape us into who we are today. These experiences can lead to negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves…which can sometimes keep us paralyzed and feeling stuck.
So the best way to figure out what is keeping us stuck is to ask ourselves. So here is how the exercise works:
Before you start, close your eyes and imagine yourself as a child. Picture yourself as a child sitting in front of you. Grab a piece of paper and a pen and start asking yourself (or your inner child) questions with your dominant hand. Write the question and immediately switch hands and answer the question with your non-dominant hand. Do not think about your answer. Just write whatever comes to mind.
Let me show you an example of how I used this method in my daily life. The night before I was going to launch my website, I completely panicked. I was filled with fear, anxiety, and terror. I said, “I can’t do this. This is a bad idea.” I was feeling inner conflict all over. My stomach was in knots, my neck tense, my jaw clenched and I felt defeated. I had no idea what was going on. I mean, I expected some nervous anticipation but not this. It was painful. So I decided to tune in and ask what was going on. Here is what I wrote:
As you can see my inner self confirmed my feelings but I wasn’t expecting the reason why. I replied I was scared that the girls at school won’t like me. I was confused on how girls at school had anything to do with me launching my website. As I inquired more, I found out I was 12 years old and my mind was immediately flooded with horrible memories of me being bullied as a kid. I transferred schools twice because of it. The feelings I was experiencing about launching my website had nothing to do with my website but everything to do with unprocessed emotions and trauma I experienced when I was younger. The idea of going public with my new business and personal story was like transferring schools…it was a trigger.
As I continued the dialogue I was able to step in as a loving, wise adult and comfort myself. I let my inner child know that I was sorry that I couldn’t take care of her back then but I am stronger and wiser now. I let her know that she would be okay because I loved her and I didn’t know how to do that back then. I let her know that we were safe and protected. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I affirmed to myself that I was okay now. I imagined myself hugging myself as a child and telling her I loved her. And when she was ready, I took her by the hand and launched my site!
This exercise can be incredibly healing as you can essentially go back in time and heal the past so you can move forward. So many of our emotions stem from something in our past. Think about how many times you get upset or in your head about something and w don’t understand why. So often our emotions do not match the situation. We fear moving forward or taking risks. We create scenarios in our head of what may happen based on past traumas.
Writing with your non-dominant hand and connecting with your inner self/child can be confusing and surprising. Sometimes the answers catch us off guard and don’t make sense. The handwriting itself looks like that of a child and the responses are also short and direct as if a child were actually responding.
When we use our non-dominant hand we confuse our brain. We are so used to operating from the one side, that when we use the other hand we experience a protest. You may have found yourself hesitating, struggling, or wanting to switch hands so you could finish the question. Part of the protest is your brain’s way of keeping things predictable. We live in world where we put our brains in charge. They help us keep the world understandable and make sense of things. This exercise gets our practical brain out of the way so we can tap into our true feelings.
Our non-dominanthand is linked to the non-dominant hemisphere of our brain. Studies show that one hemisphere is active when using the dominant hand but both are activated with using the non-dominant hand. Which is why you may be surprised by your answers…this activity can sometimes activate raw, and unprocessed emotions.
If you enjoyed this exercise, you may be interested in my “Transformation 101” course.
The Tech Way to Get Unstuck
On “Media Mom” today, I featured a free website and app that quickly helps you get unstuck. If you aren’t ready to chat with your inner child…you can try this way:
This Unstuck app is like having a digital in-the-moment life coach. Just plug in how you are feeling and what you are thinking. It then analyzes the problem and identifies the exact stuck moment you are experiencing. For each stuck moment, it gives you tips and tools to get unstuck. It is a free app for iPad, iPhone, and Android.This app is fun, simple to use and has great information. However, if you want to really get to the bottom of your unstuck moment…I challenge you to get a pen and paper first. 🙂