Are you having problems making a decision? Indecisiveness is a huge sign that you are out of alignment from your authentic self. I know the struggle of not being able to make up your mind, as I never could do anything without first consulting my mom, friends, and husband. My husband and I could never make a decision together either.
How many times have you tried to go out to eat with your spouse or friend and you can’t decide where to go? This is how it used to go for my husband and I…He would say, “I don’t care, we can go wherever you want”. Then I would name a few places and tell him to pick one. He would pick one and then I wouldn’t want to go there…even though it was one of my options. Then we would repeat the discussion again and both of us would say, “I don’t care” and then one of us ended up just picking a place that we knew the other one really wanted to go to and the night turned out so enjoyable because one of us didn’t really want to be there.
The other thing that would happen in our relationship is I would ask for his opinion and then not like his answer – and vice versa. I find this so funny that we do this. My husband and I actually have a solution for this now…before we answer we say, “Are you actually wanting my opinion or are you just working through things out loud?”
The point of all this is…when you can’t make up your mind, it’s usually because your mind is in your way. You are also worrying too much about others and not enough about yourself. That voice in your head won’t stop talking and it steers you out of alignment. We already KNOW what we want. We all know our truth, we just have to stop and listen. Here are some tips to help you make decisions for yourself and with others:
Listen to Your Gut
Our heads get in the way of our heart, making it hard to trust our instincts. Stop, breathe, and really listen to that inner voice. That inner voice deep within you – do not confuse it with all those racing thoughts.
Talk or Write it Out
When you can’t hear your inner voice, try getting your thoughts out. Sometimes we just need to hear ourselves and get the thoughts out in order to get to our decision. Ask someone to “listen” to you but not provide any feedback. Let them know you need to process something and just need someone to bounce things off of. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, grab a pen and start writing. Journaling is one of the best ways to do inner dialoguing.
Ask “What’s the worse case scenario?”
So your gut tells you one thing but you your head says, “No, no, no!” Well, that’s usually fear talking. One way to get over fear is to imagine the worse thing that could happen. When you do this, you may see that it isn’t all that bad. For example, when I was going to launch this business I thought, “What if I fail?” Well, what if I did? So, what? To me, not trying was worse.
Ask “What do I want?” NOT “What do others want from me?”
Whether you are trying to pick a restaurant for date night or trying to decide whether to take a job…ALWAYS ask yourself what you want! If the decision is solely about YOUR life then only you know the answer. If it involves another person, first decide what you want, then share and discuss with the other person. Be respectful of the other person and inquire about their desires. You may have to compromise now and then but a healthy relationship takes into account what both parties want. When you are truly in alignment with who you are, you won’t need the opinion and acceptance of others.
Imagine Living with Your Decision
Take whatever it is you are trying to decide on and just truly imagine it. Close your eyes and do some imagery and really feel what it’s like. You could be deciding on whether or not to go to a party with friends…whether or not to quit your job and find your passion…or whether or not to eat another piece of cake. Whatever it is, pay attention to the feelings that come up for you..are you happy? Are you stressed? Are you scared? Are you at peace? Listen to your feelings and pay attention to how your body feels – that will give you a lot of insight on what you really want to do.